Mothers Day Is Soon...

If I could give my mom the world
Or anything she wanted
I'd give her my own heart and soul
And leave my own heart haunted.

I'd take upon myself her life
With all its strife and pain
And let her ease into some space
Where she could live again.

The pain for me would not be pain
At least not for a while
For I'd be doing it for her
And I would see her smile.

I wish that I could take her heart
And cleanse it with my tears
And make her sorrow go away
And answer all her fears.

I wish, I wish, but then I can't
As I watch helplessly
And take her in my arms and say
I wish that it were me.

But loving is a hard, hard way
With all the pain it brings
And yet there is no other way
To touch the heart of things.

Anonymous

No Milk

I gave up milk and milk products 8 weeks ago. It's really unbelieveable how it's impacted my health. I love milk....and I love cheese......and it's HARD to stay away from all milk products all the time. It has not been that hard to quit drinking milk, but there are so many things that I cannot have anymore:

• Cereal (I don't like Soy Milk)


• Pizza


• Mack-n-Cheese


• Yogurt (I use to eat every single day)


• Ice Cream


• Block Cheese


• Lasagne


• Motzerella Sticks
  

Those are just a few of the things I miss the most. As you can see.....all but one thing on that list is CRAP! I am eating a lot more healthy now.

Here are the benefits I'm enjoying:

• GI problems are 99% gone!


• No more daily headaches!
  
• I use to just "not feel good" most days; I was tired, run down, achy....that is also gone!
  

I feel great! Also- I have a Dr. appointment Monday to have another X-Ray of my face to check on this sinus infection. I hope it's all cleared up....after 2 months of antibiotics and 8 days of prednisone...I sure hope it's gone.

Road Trip!!

We woke up at 6:15 a.m. and were out the door by 6:45. We stopped by Mickey D's and Starbucks and headed up I-35 North. We decided to rent a Dodge Durango and I'm SO happy we did.....it was extremely roomy...we all had room to spread out and breathe.

We arrived in Grant City, MO at about 9:30...half an hour early. At 10:00 Charlene pulled up in a Red Ford Explorer with our PUPPY in it! We took some candid pics of Sumo, but here are the updated pics off their website (taken yesterday) .

We spent about half an hour cuddling and getting to know Sumo a little bit. He was very shy and quiet (he's only 4 weeks old), and I think he probably weighs about 5 lbs. right now. Charlene said in 4 weeks he'll be about 3x's the size he is now. We're in love!!!

We left Grant City about 10:30, then stopped for lunch about an hour later in Bethany, MO at a place called "Toot Toot"....they had the BEST buffet! It was home style food......we're talking fried chicken, roast beef, turkey, ham, beef and noodles, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans and even more I cannot remember.

After we left Bethany, we hit 35 again and decided to go to an Amish community in the middle of MO called Jamesport, MO. We took pics of the horse drawn carriages and some cows and horses. We stopped at the ONE place in town that was open. A candle/gift shop. We happened to be in town on Sunday, so nothing was open. It was very cool though....to see a way that people live that is competely different than what is normal to us.

After we left Jamesport.....we hit the road and did not stop until we got home about 3:30 p.m. It was a great day. We got to meet our puppy, have a great meal, see another way of life and spend a lot of quality family time.

Thoughts About Life/Death

I have been thinking a lot about life/death recently. After this VA Tech thing, then a lady I work withs nephew was shot and killed in KCK a few days ago. Life is PRECIOUS....we should never take for granted any breaths we are allowed. That is SO cliche' I know....rediculous to even say out loud because it's something that's been said over and over and over. But.....think about what it means. Any minute your life could be over. Think about how powerful that statement is. How would the people around me be affected if I was not here anymore. Would I be mourned? I'm sure I would be mourned by my kids, they would be devistated...and their lives would be turned upside down. Where would they live? I don't know if my husband would be up to...or even allowed to raise them as his own. Would I want them to go live with their fathers? Not really. I wonder how my mother would feel if I passed away. I would never presume to think she would be devistated. My mother is always in "survival" mode. My husband of course would be left without a wife and his step-kids would no longer be a regular part of his life. I wonder if my family would make efforts to keep him involved....probably not. I have been in his life for 3 years....not long ...he'd mourn and move on.

This is all very morbid...but stuff that needs thought about sometimes.

We spend a lot of time thinking about the RIGHT NOW...how am I feeling?...am I comfortable?...am I happy? I wish I could be stripped of all physical and material posessions....so I can learn to appreciate simple things like breathing, seeing, hearing, having love in my life, having relationships with people I care about. There are so many simple things that I am TAKING FOR GRANTED.

To anyone who reads this: Take about 30 seconds and think about what YOU are taking for granted.

Holy Crap

"You are NOT to take a steroid with levaquin. This is a deadly combination which increases your risk of an adverse reaction to the levaquin. Levaquin belongs to the class of drugs known as fluoroquinolones. Side effects include spontaneous tendon ruptures, irreversible peripheral nueropathy, chronic joint and muscle pain, severe insomonia as well as hundreds of other serious adverse reactions. I would suggest you log unto www.fqresearch.org and review the 4000 plus medical journal articles and post marketing reports that detail how toxic and dangerous this class of drugs are. These drugs are a drug of last resort only to be used when the patient faces the loss of life or limb. They are NOT a first line agent for any disease. It is plainly stated in the package insert that you are NOT to combine steroids with this class as severe adverse reactions to the central nervous system may result. Not trying to scare you but trying to avoid you facing a life of pain and misery as so many other patients have. The number of people who have had serious and even fatal adverse reactions to these drugs cannot even be counted. The Attorney General of the State of Illinois has filed a petition with the FDA demanding Black Box warnings for this class. This is THE strongest warning you will find on any drug. The next step is removal from clinical use."

This is a comment I received after my post about being on these medications. It's got me a bit freaked...so I'm going to look into this.

I just called the pharmacy...and they are FINE to take together. There are some extreme side effects to Levaquin....but chances are after over a week I would have started feeling them by now if I was prone to them.

Whew!

DJ AM & Introducing Sumo!!!

Girls night out on Saturday night to see DJ AM. Lori, Danielle, Rachel and I went to the VooDoo Lounge at Harrahs here in KC. We got all dressed up and had a fantastic time. I'll upload the before pic when I get it off my digital camera. I was a bit disappointed I must say, I thought I was going to hear a lot of old hip hop....instead I heard a little hip hop and a LOT of crap. He played a lot of "hick" music...I'm not sure if it's because he was in the mid-west or what....but I heard "Sweet Home Alabama", "AC/DC" TWICE "Let's Hear It For The Boys" (80's song), Bon Jovi, all kinds of stuff that I dont really hate I was just not in the frame of mind to hear at that moment. I did however have a great time with my girlfriends, and that was the point.

SUMO!!!

Here is the puppy we chose. He is just over two weeks old. We will call him Sumo.
As you could imagine we are already totally in love. Who could resist a face like that? We get to pick him up on May 19th!

What's With All The Posts on the Same Day?

Just an FYI.....I moved my blog from the "old" Blogger website to the "new" Blogger....it's a lot more user friendly. I copied and pasted most of my old posts from the other site, that's why there are so many on the same day.

Another post to come today about our new puppy!

4-6-07 Why Forrest Gump is one of My Favorite Movies

I watched Forrest Gump today. It was made in 1994, and I think I've seen it at least 20 times. For some it’s a love story – Forrest and Jenny’s story; for others it’s a peek into thirty tumultuous years of American history from Vietnam to Kennedy to Elvis; and for many it’s a truly motivational story about a simple and straightforward human being. It’s a wonderful mix of all…for all. It’s no wonder that the movie had so many Academy Award nominations, and won so many, six I believe. There are several reasons I love this movie.

It's a story about Love:

Forrest does everything for his one true love, the experimental, sad, and ultimately broken Jenny Curran. He starts with saying "I'll never forget the sweetest voice I've ever heard" and it was the voice of Jenny his first day of school offering him a seat on the bus when everyone else was mean to him. They developed a life long friendship and he loved her for many many years; no other woman ever entered his mind even when she was away for years at a time. He prevailed in the end when he married her and took care of her until she died.

It's a story about Friendship:

Bubba and Forest meet on the bus (once again a friendship starting on a bus) to Marine boot camp. I dont' think they had a long friendship, but it was a good one and you see that Gump has a genuine and heartfelt realtionship with Bubba. If you remember, after he made his money in the shripmping business, he delivered a large check to Bubba's mother, out of respect and obligation (in his own mind).

After being sent to Saigon during the Vietnam war, he met and served under Lt. Dan Taylor. At one point during the movie, Forrest saves Lt. Dan's live. Lt. Dan lives, but without his legs and blames Forrest for taking away his destiny. Later on in the movie, Forrest goes into the shrimping business and Lt. Dan joins him as his first mate. They are unsuccessful until "God showed up". Lt. Dan and Forrest become great friends and millionares together.

Jenny's death causes Forrest to question the nature of life. "Jenny, I don't know if Mama was right or whether it was Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I think, maybe it's both. Maybe both are happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny." A tearful Forrest concludes with "If there's anything you need, I won't be far away". As he walks away, a flock of birds fly past, presumably signifying Jenny's prayer as a child to be turned into a bird.

This movie always puts me into a "deep thinking" mode. The funny thing is, I did not even watch this movie until about 2 years after it was released...and I hated it the first time I saw it. I just thought it was "look what I did" "look what else I did" ....it was not until the second time I really watched it that I was drawn to it. Maybe it's because I can relate to Jenny on some level....maybe it's because his innocent and pure love for her is so captivating. Maybe it's because Forrest so innocent, pure and unassuming...I can't really put my finger on it.

4-5-07 Steroids and Antibiotics

I have a severe sinus infection. I did not even know I had it until a month ago when the Allergist I went to see did an X-Ray of my face. Apparently, my left sinus is about 98% full of infection and my right is about 30% full. I took a course of antibiotics for a month....it did not work AT ALL. So- today I started a round of Prednisone & Levaquin. The Prednisone is a steroid that should shrink the tissue, and allow the antibiotic to work. 33 Prednisone pills over 8 days and 20 Levaquin pills over 20 days. I'll keep a log of sorts here to track my progress and if the steroid is messing me up with side effects. I'm hoping NOT. I'm also hoping this will work so I dont have to have sinus surgery.

STILL no puppy pics! I'm going to email the breeder today.

4-4-07 The Joy of Having a Catholic Boss

The joy of having a Catholic boss is that I have Good Friday OFF! I'm very excited because my kids have school and my husband will be at work. I'm going to sleep in, lie around and do whatever I want all day. Ok, so it may not be as relaxing as my picture over to the left, but I'm excited either way. Maybe I'll sit outside and paint something....now that sounds relaxing. Until then, I'll remain extremely busy at work and "earn" my vacation day that is coming to me.

Speaking of the beach, I have not been to the beach in a few years. Last time I went to Ft. Lauderdale with my kids....it was a blast. I doubt we'll make it this summer....maybe next.

On Saturday night I'm going to see DJ AM at the VooDoo Lounge here in KC. I've never been to a show like this before. It's girls night out! Lori and I think Rachel are coming over and we'll get ready together (a MUST for girls night out). I'm looking forward to it. I'm seeing John Mayer for the 4th time on June 19th. That's going to be fun too.

4-2-07 My Weekend

My weekend went well....other than the allergies. I have an appt. today at 3:30 though......I'm going to beg them to give me a shot to soothe my symptoms. I did some great garage sale shopping Sat. I got a bunch of junk I did not need of course....but I did get my son a few nice windbreakers for a buck each.

I still have not seen any pics of the puppies....they are now 11 days old. I finally got Jeff to watch The Dog Wisperer...and of course he loves it. We are really exciting about being "puppy parents".

My son got to ride in a limo this weekend. He went to a 1st grade birthday party and yes, they had a LIMO! He loved it and I got some good pictures I think.

Time to work....more later.

3-30-07 Ask and you Shall Receive

I've been at my job for almost 5 years. I started out with very little to do here...and I've begged and pleaded for more work....for the last two years I've been getting busier and busier...now I'm starting to get completely overwhelmed. Well, I'll admit I am doing this at work, but it's because I'm taking a break. I enjoy being challenged, I enjoy being very busy.....it's good for me. I did ask for it.....and I'm happy to do the work but BOY am I busy these days. Time management is the key.

My puppy s now 8 days old....we have not seen pictures yet. I'm getting excited. Everytime I tell people I'm getting a dog they say "do you know what you are getting into?" .....yes, we know what we are getting into....we understand the responsibility of training a dog. Anyone that knows me should know that when I get interested in something the internet is my best friend and I will learn EVERYTHING about whatever it is I'm focused on at the moment. If you've never watched "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic Channel you are missing out....this guy is AMAZING with dogs. Cesar Millan is the guy name.http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/dogwhisperer/

Still working on my 100 list, it's not going to be posted today as I thought.....but I'll work on it more today and this weekend.

Ok, back to work...I guess :)

3-28-07 50 Things I Love About My Life

I was able to have 3 awesome and healthy kids.
I have a wonderful husband who actually DOES treat me like I'm his top priority.
I have a home in a nice neighborhood that my family can enjoy and feel safe in.
I have financial goals that are attainable, and our bills are always paid.
We are getting a puppy very soon.
I have a close relationship with my family, expecially my older sister who knows me better than anyone else.
My health problems of 2006 are in the past and this year so far I've been very healthy.
Jealousy is never an issue in my relationship.
I have three best friends.
I learned from my childhood what it's like to be poor, and I am extremely grateful for what I have now.
Both of my parents are alive.
I am able to wear nice clothes and present myself in the way I want to, not the way I'm forced to.
I have job security.
My kids are healthy.
My kids are all very smart and have unique personalities.
My family loves God.
My husband and I are great friends, we can talk for hours and do so a lot.
My husband and I make time each day to spend alone.
My Mother is healthy.
My Grandmother and I have a good relationship now.
I always get excited to see my Dad.
I have a job that challenges me often.
I have a natural ability to draw and paint.
I learned to play poker a few years ago...and I love it.
I recently reconnected with my cousins and uncles.
I can listen to music and work at the same time.
I love to see live music and I get to a lot.
My brother is now married.
My daughters boyfriend is not a psyco, a drug user, a smoker or a drinker.
My husband is an excellent step-father and my kids love him.
It's Spring and our heat is no longer needed.
I get to go Garage Sale shopping when I want to.
My son loves to read and is getting better and better at it.
My middle daughter is learning to play violin and is great at it.
My oldest daughter knows what a clean house looks like and will take that knowledge with her when she moves out and makes a home of her own.
My brother in law is a hairdresser, he takes great care of me and my family.
I have very good hearing.
I have an eye for decorating....something I love to do.
I can cook....something else I love to do.
I dont have scheduled breaks at work.
My car is reliable.
I have a church family that loves me even if I dont go each week.
My younger sister and I have a very close relationship.
I've finally figured out how to keep a house clean all the time.
My kids will never questoin if they were loved, wanted and cherished.
I love watching American Idol with my kids and husband....it's something we all do together each week.
My husband takes my kids to sporting events......without me being there.
I am seeing an allergist and will finally get my seasonal allergies under control.
I have a lot of original art....and I make my own.
My husband has a great sense of humor....he makes me laugh all the time.

3-27-07 Pollen and Other Stuff

Today is an allergyriffic day. I had to wear my glasses to work....which always means I'm suffering. I woke up with really itchy eyes and a sore throat. Ug I hate having to wear my glasses....it's an old perscription too so I can't see as well.

On another note- we got a new vacuum cleaner! I loooooooove it. In my opinion it was rather expensive ($265) but it was worth every cent. I spent about two hours last night using all the neat attachments to clean the whole bottom level of my house. That's 2 stair cases, 2 rooms with carpet, 3 rooms without and the entryway. The only thing I don't like is that it's heavy and I wont be lifting it up the stairs b/c it'll hurt my back. I have a great hubby that does my lifting so it's all good.

Our puppy was supposed to be born yesterday....no word yet.